We're facebook friends in real life
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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