So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
