He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
