To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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