i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
how does that bad decision feel?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
