I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
