Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
