I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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