i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
