he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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