This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
