how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
