yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this beer tastes like vomit already
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
