covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
