Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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