I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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