i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The air was thick with penises
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize