my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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