Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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