It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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