im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
