so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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