It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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