I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
