She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
