so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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