dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my sisters under your porch take her home
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
