i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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