You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
