Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I need help removing her.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
