I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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