I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
