I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
