he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
