u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
