craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
