i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize