But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
