Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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