Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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