Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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