Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
