If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
