She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
