smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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