so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
