She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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