I skipped work to stalk him.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
