as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
