Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
only if we run a train.
done.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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