I must be too annoying 4 u.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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