porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
