Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
