Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
