I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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