marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
