I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize