you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
