Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
