Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
