sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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