Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
