C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
