I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
