Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize