GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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