Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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