FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
