You work out of a Hotel?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
