So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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