You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If I die, sorry about rent.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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