I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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