Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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