So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love having hate sex.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
