Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
