You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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