Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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