big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
