So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
