You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
