Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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