i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
