I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize